


the meaning of us

by pinkvalentines



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, F/F, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29343036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkvalentines/pseuds/pinkvalentines
Summary: With the way fate works, anything could happen right?It just does not work out in the way either Lilith or Mary want it to go.Especially with themselves.
Relationships: Shotgun Mary/Shannon Masters, Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva, Sister Lilith/Shotgun Mary (Warrior Nun)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> -look i can't let lilshotgun go so i decided to write this, developing their relationship in the way that i want!!!  
> -starts off with pre canon, exploring their friendship, then goes into canon, then post canon!! basically a season two take but i focus more on lilshotgun  
> -just stick around for the ride!! this is my most ambitious fic yet lol (enemies to friends to lovers *wink wink*)

To say that they always hated each other would be a big lie. At first, things ran smoothly, there was mutual respect between both Lilith and Mary. Though Lilith was a bit skeptical as to why Mary would join the OCS (“She’s not even a nun, why would she join?” “Don’t be harsh Lilith, there’s a story behind each person, you know that.” Beatrice reminded her, knowing Lilith’s history. Lilith rolled her eyes at Beatrice instead.), there was really no place or reason for hate. 

How they became friends was a story of itself. Lilith heard of the new recruit from Mother Superion, who simply provided her with a name.  _ Mary. How fitting _ . Yet again, her name was Lilith so she couldn’t really say anything about names. Anyways, Mary got sent to Lilith, or rather, was told to look for Lilith for tips about the OCS. 

“Are you Lilith?” Mary asks. She finds the other in a courtyard, just finished with a training session. Lilith looks at her, evening her breathing. 

“Yes? And you are..?” Lilith asks back. 

“Mary. I was told to look for you, for tips I guess.” Mary tells Lilith what they told her, shrugging. 

“Ah. The new girl. I’m sure I can tell you some things. What?” Lilith noted her lack of habit, clearly not following their rules but whatever, she’s not her. Lilith gathers her hoodie, then leads Mary around the grounds. 

“So I guess you can tell me about the OCS, at least the basic stuff. They haven’t told me a lot,” Mary tells Lilith. They walk out of the courtyard, into a garden of sorts. 

Lilith explains how the OCS was formed, what their motives are, and their current situation relating to the wraith demons. She also informs Mary that in the epicenter of the church, there is an important woman: their sacred halo bearer, who has superhuman abilities that allow the OCS to kill the wraiths. 

Lilith finished, Mary absorbed the information, both shocked and confused about the church. “But wouldn’t the demons and church contradict each other?” a pause, “This is all crazy.”

“I can assure you that they are real.” Lilith says, slightly cocky. “There have been sightings.” 

Mary takes her word for now, needing a bit to really think about what Lilith had just told her and process it. 

In the following weeks, Mary just kind of stuck around Lilith, making small talk with her (arguably the worst stage of friendship) and knowing  _ right away _ why Lilith ended up there. Lilith, with some stubbornness, got to know why and how Mary ended up at the OCS to begin with. (“My family actually has six  _ previous _ halo bearers, I’m hoping to become the seventh.” Lilith told Mary. “If you think I’m a nun, I’m going to laugh.” Mary laughed, making Lilith frown.)

Lilith tells her about the schedule most women follow, handing her a piece of paper with their training hours, free hours, and scheduled mealtimes. Almost seems like prison…  _ Don’t _ . 

Mary brushes off that thought, remembering what had happened with her mother.  _ Now is  _ _ not _ _ the time to think about that _ . Mary takes the paper, thankful that someone helped her with all of this. 

“I think that’s all.” Lilith pauses, in the common area, various other Sisters doing their own things. 

Mary nods, “Thanks.”

Lilith hums, bidding her a goodbye, leaving the other to continue with her tasks. Mary is left there, then deciding to go back into her room… quarters? for some time to digest everything. 

Mary would continue talking with Lilith, to the point of starting a friendship. And yes, they became good friends, learning about one another, teaching each other their skills, then sharing their little jokes (Mary wouldn’t consider Lilith a funny person but she had her moments). 

—

Once they truly became friends, Mary later taught Lilith how to shoot. 

It was an overcast day, not much to do considering that it was a sort of ‘free’ day, a day for relaxation as Mother Superion put it. Well, Mary had gone to the small clearing of land outside the church and practiced her distance shots, attempting to get her aim to a tee, shooting at targets. 

Lilith followed her outside, silently watching Mary, from afar, practice with  _ her _ shotguns, different from the rifles and handguns the armory in the OCS had to offer and choose from. Lilith was more focused on hand to hand combat but she wasn’t repulsed by the idea of using a gun. 

“Hey, Lilith, you know how to shoot?” Mary asked, pointing her gun down, then turning to face Lilith. She was curious, given her abilities were  _ particularly _ extraordinary. 

“Not like you.”  _ So no _ . Lilith smiles. 

“Come. I’ll show you,” Mary waved a hand at Lilith, grinning. Lilith gets up from the grass, walking over to Mary, shrugging off her hoodie. She handed Lilith  _ her shotgun _ , the very one no one else was allowed to even handle, all too personal. 

And the rest of the day, at least until the sun went down and forced them to stop due to bad lighting, the pair spent it shooting. At first, Lilith’s aim was askew, typical for someone with little experience, just outside the target circles. Mary showed her the proper pose, how to position the shoulders— well her whole body really —and then where to aim. 

“You can’t aim and not have a target. You’d be shooting blind.” Mary made sense. Lilith nodded and took her stance, eyes locked on the target, and bam! Out of the three consecutive shots, only one was off center. 

Lilith turned to Mary and smiled, laughing too. She did it! And almost perfected it in one try (well like five but better than most people)! 

“You did it! I’m starting to think you did know how to shoot.” Mary laughs with Lilith. 

“Maybe a little,” Lilith smiles. 

The following weeks are also fun (enough for Lilith and Mary respectively). After their training and tasks are done for the day, they’d go back to the clearing and shoot for however long they could, enjoying the company of one another. 

In those same weeks, a new recruit — who Lilith would later know as Shannon — came to the OCS, determined to find her role in the organization. They welcomed her with open arms and expressed gratitude to their newest member. Mary introduced herself to Shannon, showing her around, volunteering and being helpful towards the new girl. 

During their almost ritual shooting days, Mary would talk fondly about Shannon, claiming that she’d be a great fit among the other hardworking women there. Lilith just listens, not knowing much about the new girl and because there wasn’t much else to talk about. Lilith nods along. 

However, their set ritual of shooting together would disappointedly stop. Mary showed more and more liking to Shannon and wanted to get to know her. There wasn’t anything wrong with that. It was just that Lilith had gotten accustomed to doing it with Mary that when she’d go out to the clearing, to their exact spot, she’d be left alone, embarrassing herself. 

—

To clear her mind, Mary went out to the grassy clearing, focusing on the sounds of the gun and the sound of the trees around her. 

In one last attempt at finding Mary, Lilith did find her. A smile immediately formed at seeing Mary out there. 

“Where’ve you been? I thought you gave up on this shooting thing.” Lilith said loudly, a distance away from Mary, making her way to the woman. 

Mary flinches at her voice, immediately pointing her shotgun down as to not accidentally shoot something other than the target. She turns around, assuring that it is in fact Lilith and chuckles, shaking her head. “Aw you’ve been waiting for me?” 

“Maybe so.” Lilith smirks, pausing. “I kind of missed it.” She now stands a few feet from Mary, and shrugs. 

“It was only like two weeks.” Mary replies. 

“Yeah I know. But  _ practice makes perfect _ ,” Lilith mimics Mary, who told her that exact phrase when they began. 

Mary scoffs but then laughs, “Well then. Go ahead  _ Sister _ .” She gives Lilith her shotgun, stepping back. Lilith smirked. Then they fall back into the same pattern, Mary critiquing Lilith, Lilith following her advice. It’s them again. For those few hours. 

Mary talks more with Shannon, and now, their little ritual went from almost every day to about three days a week, a shift because Mary found interest in Shannon. Shannon was actually funny, given that nuns demeanors are usually serious, so that was definitely exciting. Then given with the fact that Shannon was very nice, it made Mary like her more. A whole lot more. 

Mary told Shannon that she could join her and Lilith when they’d go shooting. Shannon accepted the offer,  _ what’s the harm in that and possibly making a friend in the process? _

Lilith was a bit hesitant because it had become  _ their _ routine, adding someone else would disrupt their flow. She didn’t voice her opinion because it would be rude to Shannon, who was just there for fun. Lilith did talk but it felt weird (like any conversation between people who share a mutual friend would be) so she tried her best to make conversation. Shannon was nice and funny, Lilith noted, Mary told no lies. Shannon got some laughs out of both women, making her happy. Lilith could grow to like Shannon but it would take time. 

Nevertheless, Lilith and Mary remained close friends, that much was true. There was no conflict between the pair. Lilith did her thing and Mary likewise. 

—

But, 

_ there’s always a but _ , 

Shannon would then get the halo about two years later and Lilith had to wait yet another time before she became the next bearer, pushing back the moment that she would continue her family’s hard earned legacy  _ even further _ . 

And of course, Mary defended Shannon because there was no reason for Lilith to get that upset over something as trivial as becoming the next halo bearer. And also because they were a couple. In the almost two years that they’d been close, Mary and Shannon became more than friends, unofficially girlfriends. 

Lilith just thought of it as Mary just not knowing the kind of pressure that she was under. Having  _ SIX _ women in your family become amazing halo bearers was something legendary and important for her family. 

She’d been born into an important family and all they expected from her was to fulfill the role as the next halo bearer. Considering that she didn’t really have an option, Lilith was sent off to the OCS, hearing the same stories of her predecessors over and over again, and hoping to write her own story in the future, when she would be able to. Lilith was amazed by the halo, the driving force that made her practice longer and harder than her fellow Sisters, to show for the fact, to prove that she was prepared to handle the title of the OCS’s newest halo bearer. 

—

Lilith was just getting done with cleaning the practice weapons for tomorrow’s training when Beatrice and Mary came to her with great (or not so great in Lilith’s likings) news, in the small room, knowing she’d be there since it was her job. 

“Lilith, did you hear? Shannon is the next chosen bearer. Catherine told us.” Beatrice smiled as she told her the news. 

_ Oh yeah _ . Lilith definitely heard  _ that _ news. Beatrice and Mary were happy that Shannon, of all the women in OCS, would be the next woman to represent and bear the halo. It just made her upset. 

“Oh really? Good for her.” Lilith replied, flat and expressionless. She forced a smile for them, giving them a look that could kill. 

_ Wow, okay, that’s rude _ . Mary could see through Lilith, considering that she knew about her family and how important they are to the organization, to their legacy. Mary furrowed her eyebrows. 

“We hope that you’ll congratulate her later. Tomorrow she gets the halo.” Beatrice reminds Lilith, but she already knew that. Perhaps that was a wrong choice of words. 

“I’ll see to it. Thank you.” Lilith makes eye contact with Mary, squinting her eyes in frustration, before thanking Beatrice, scarily monotonous. 

Beatrice leaves them, giving Lilith a look before closing the door behind her. 

“I know you’re upset.” Mary says once Beatrice leaves the room. 

Lilith slams down the practice weapon she’d been cleaning on the table, the crashing sound filling the room. “You think? How would this look to my parents, Mary? That I can’t possibly do what they asked me to do?” she replies harshly, not wanting to direct her frustration onto Mary but it slipped out. 

Mary sighed, “I know how important this is for you, I do. But it’s not like halo is going anywhere, or well, not like you can’t wait until next time,” she shrugs, explaining. 

“That’s the difference between us. I’ve been training for so long and now I have to wait years until it’s finally my chance? It’s ridiculous.” Lilith gave Mary her reasoning, which she knew already. It's true though. How long would it take until Lilith would bear the halo? Her family was very connected with the OCS, news was always sent to them quickly, and sometimes the talks would come and other times, they remained silent, which terrified Lilith more than the words. The silent treatment was never good. 

_ Damn _ . Okay, now Mary feels awkward. “I don’t know what to tell you Lily.”  _ That nickname _ . “Just… There’s always a next time.” 

Mary leaves Lilith alone. 

Obviously Mary was going to stick up for Shannon. They were together. Lilith didn’t know what that was like. All Lilith knew was to get the halo and represent her family with honor. No time for things like that, though she couldn’t help but sort of envy them. 

Lilith slams her hands down on the table. The rattling of the weapons and her breathing are the only noises that fill the room.  _ Stupid legacy _ .

—

The next day is worse. For Lilith. 

After noon, the official news of Shannon becoming the new bearer came to light. Everyone praised and honored her in accepting the halo. Mary showed care for Shannon, feeling happy for her girlfriend, literally there the whole step of the way. 

Lilith was bitter. 

And Lilith would change. In a harsher way. Lilith failed to get what she deserved and made sure that others knew about it. Knew about her persistence and important legacy. Knew that she worked her ass off for a good reason. 

Lilith gave Shannon a little, forced congratulations.  _ Insincere as all hell _ . Shannon accepted it, giving Lilith some small advice in hopes of brightening her spirits. Lilith, through a fake smile, just took her words, and scoffed under her breath as she left. 

Mary noticed her behavior, because while everyone else was celebrating and excited, Lilith was angry and jealous. Mary had to talk with her. And of course, the clearing is the first place she looked. 

“And why the hell are you out here alone?” Mary says, walking out into the grassy clearing she knew too well, stopping a few feet from her. Mary knew better than to get into people's space when visibly upset. 

Lilith turned to look at Mary, then shifted the other way to give Mary her back, rolling her eyes. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Clearly it does matter, if it bothers you  _ this _ much to be out here alone while everyone else is inside.” Mary responds, crossing her arms over her chest. 

Lilith balled her hands into fists by her sides, now facing Mary, taking in a deep breath before starting. “Yes it does bother me. You know why? Because  _ I _ deserve the halo.  _ I _ deserve it.” Lilith makes her point by gesturing towards herself. “I’ve trained long and hard for my ranking here, and failing like this is insulting. It’s beyond me.” She finished, aggravated and tense. And bitchy too, if Mary was talking. 

“Insulting?  _ Jesus _ , do you hear yourself? Just because you came here to fulfill some family role doesn’t mean that other people don’t deserve it!  _ God _ , you are taking this too far.” Mary yells, baffled. 

“Too far?” Lilith scoffs, now insulted again. “Mary you know the responsibilities I have-”

“Yeah I know all about that. But there is no reason that you should be acting this way!” Ironically enough, Lilith acts out. Lashes at Mary actually. 

She threw the first punch, square on Mary’s jaw, focusing all her anger in her fists. Seeing Mary stumble back in surprise was expected, because even when they trained together, it was all in good fun and a learning experience. Violence being added to the mix makes this a dangerous concoction. Mary brings her hand to her jaw, surprised that Lilith didn’t shatter it. She looks shocked. 

And they fight. Lilith defends her position and Mary does the same, for Shannon’s sake. More punches, throws, and kicks are thrown during their fight. Out of pure luck, Mary manages to pin Lilith down, ironically using one of Lilith’s strategies that she taught Mary. It didn’t matter if she kicked, she couldn’t get up, no matter how hard she tried. Mary says one last thing, voice full of anger. 

“Don’t  _ ever _ talk to me again. And if you do, it  _ better _ not be about Shannon or the damn halo. Got it?” Mary makes herself clear, pushing off of Lilith, leaving the other woman alone. 

Lilith winces as she gets on her back, calming her wavering breath, but doesn’t pay attention to the injuries. Losing her friendship with Mary hurt as much as the punches did. She looks up at the sky, remembering that she’s in the grassy clearing, and gets up, walking away from there, leaving it all behind. 

Mary walks back into the building, abruptly greeted by Shannon, of all people. Her thoughts stop. 

“Mary,” her voice is full of concern and worry. She must’ve noticed the ruffled clothing. “What happened?” Shannon touches her hands, seeing that they were starting to get bloody. 

Mary gave her a smile, as much as she could with her bruising cheek. “Lilith and I fought. That’s it.”

“Mary!” Shannon gasps, she stops stroking Mary’s knuckles. 

“She was pissing me off. Look,” Mary pauses, “can we go to the infirmary? It’s starting to sting.” She gestures to the hand that Shannon is holding. 

“Sure, but tell me what really happened.” Shannon asks as she takes her to the infirmary to bandage the small cuts. 

Mary explains, informing her of the events from yesterday that led to their fight. She tells Shannon about how fucked up it is that Lilith would be so ingrained, so transfixed on the idea of the halo that she would get this angry about Shannon becoming the newest bearer. Mary leaves out the last bit of her not wanting Lilith to talk to her but vaguely mentions that they’re not on speaking terms. After tending to her small wounds, Shannon left Mary alone, giving her space to reflect over the situation. 

Mary cared for Lilith, but this was the last straw. She went too far. Mary felt offended that Lilith would insinuate that Shannon didn’t deserve the halo. She was chosen for a reason and experiencing Lilith’s anger head-on was sure proof that maybe Lilith didn’t deserve the halo, if she would act inappropriately. Mary makes it to her room, silently thanking Shannon for being understanding. 

Meanwhile, Lilith makes her way to her quarters. In her room, she starts to feel her body lose it’s adrenaline rush, the endorphins weaken which make Lilith feel the pain from her body more, sharper pains coming to the surface. Lilith brushes off the dirt from her clothing before changing into something else, something clean, and notices forming bruises that will show in the following days. Lilith exhales, laying down on her bed, staring at the wall until sleep succumbs to her. 

The ruined friendship hurt them in a more personal manner than their fight. It’s true, respect is  _ earned _ not  _ given _ , and that fight just proves how respect can be easily lost. 


	2. chapter two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this pretty much follows canon as usual but with some added/missing scenes lol
> 
> i intended on posting this yesterday but life is busy,,, 
> 
> enjoy!! though not really cause its canon.. anyways

True to Mary’s words, Lilith doesn’t talk to her, and if she does, it’s exclusively related to their work,  _ that’s it _ . Doesn’t mean that Lilith isn’t stubborn or angry anymore, it just meant that she kept her distance, becoming closed off, avoiding any conflicts with others. Never one to falter, their distance was kept. Lilith lost her friend. 

It’s true, fate is something extraordinary. Something that can change will and mend someone’s life. 

Unfortunately, their recent mission was disastrous, leaving Shannon critically injured, divinium shards lodged their way into her abdomen. The halo couldn’t keep up with those injuries and cuts, weakening as the team fled the scene, headed back to the Cradle for medical attention. 

It truly was devastating. Any halo bearer's death was depressing and horrible. So, seeing Shannon die in front of Mary, Lilith, and Beatrice is personal. Especially for Mary. 

They run into the building, navigating their way through the hallways, straight to the nearest room so that they can have a moment of somewhat peace. Shannon is truly in a bad state, conscious but the cuts are barely closing, something that the halo would do without any difficulty. But now, now it’s truly at its limit. 

Mary and Beatrice put her down on the metal table, Shannon groaning in pain. The nurse comes in, explaining the extent of her injuries, also explaining that the divinium shards would need to be removed in order for her body to heal from them. Lilith explains to them what needs to happen, that because she’s in a bad state, the halo would have to be removed and placed in the next bearer, Mary draws her gun at her at that implication. 

Mary keeps holding onto Shannon, talking with her, reluctantly taking her pendant as she looks on at the nurse who fetches for the tool used to imbed and dislodge the halo from her body. She cries for Shannon, still latched onto her, maintaining this contact until the very end, listening intently to Shannon. 

“Don’t trust anyone.” 

The simplest phrase ever. Yet, Mary couldn’t ask why because once the tool took out the halo, Shannon died, a tragic ending for her. Their leader dies and their team is left behind, to fend for themselves. 

Lilith looks at the bright glowing halo with wonder and awe, viewing from a distance. She’s still sorry that Shannon is dying, she wouldn’t want death to fall into Shannon’s arms because she was the bearer and Lilith wasn’t, there’s no satisfaction in this. 

And as Mary cradles Shannon’s lifeless body and Lilith is set to be the next in line, the unfortunate happens. An explosion ruins their plan, hindering the process for Lilith. The halo is placed in a dead girl in a haste decision. 

After the explosion, and after finding out what exactly happened to the halo, the OCS is left defenseless without the sacred bearer. Lilith is annoyed at the thought that some stranger now bears the halo, someone unfamiliar. Mary stays with Shannon, removing the last of the pieces of divinium from her abdomen, numb because her girlfriend is gone, dead. She wears the pendant in her honor, now thinking about seeking revenge on those who killed her Shannon. 

—

The next night, Camila plays the piano for them, as a way to pay homage to Shannon. Beatrice holds onto Mary and Lilith as Camila sings her tune, sadly smiling. For those peaceful moments, they are Lilith and Mary, not ex-friends who have conflicts with each other. Though it’s not enough to say that they're on neutral grounds, the next morning, Lilith jabs at Mary, sarcastically, Mary responds with even more sarcasm. 

In the next few days, they locate the halo and its bearer— Ava. She is caught between them like a deer in headlights—  _ scared _ . Her party experience is short lived, poorly scaring away the tarask, then injected with some serum, knocking her unconscious. Lilith thinks it’s all pathetic, they spent time tracking her down and was still afraid.  _ If only Lilith had had the halo, she would prove her bravery _ . Mary pokes at Lilith’s inability to think of anything else than the fucking halo, getting an eye roll in return. Typical. 

Trying to teach Ava anything was annoying, everything came with some sort of commentary, why was she the one in charge of Ava? Right. Because she knew better about the halo, which Ava can’t seem to comprehend. 

And as they think they have Ava, she runs away. 

—

Within the next few days, a small group is sent to Arq-Tech to retrieve the divinium shield, and through the walkie talkies, there’s word of Ava at an orphanage. Lilith finds it strange but immediately bolts from the building, and in her mind, she’s already with Ava and taking the halo for herself. The influence ( _ manipulation _ ) from the Cardinal was strong and was what drove her to track down the girl, he used the knowledge of her background to get her to do what he wanted, manipulating her. 

Mary also sets out on finding the person or people responsible for the death of Shannon, on her own here. She kills a man in the mountains, and finds another, getting some information from the man against his will. It won’t bring Shannon back but it’s enough to keep Mary going, searching for a purpose. Lilith was set on obtaining the halo for herself, no matter the price or morality behind it.

Lilith tracks her down, taking down a group of security guards that came from Arq-Tech on her own. Lilith sees Ava come out of the building, paranoid and scared. Lilith goes for her and like fate couldn’t get any more frustrating, with sheer  _ fucking _ luck, Mary comes in and stops her from striking down at Ava. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Out of all people it’s Mary! The pair fight, like a synchronized dance, knowing each other’s next move, the disadvantage, Lilith thinks. Lilith manages to get her on the floor, above Mary. The sword stops glowing and just like that, Ava is gone again. 

The two spend the rest of the night, into the morning, looking for Ava. Luck is not on their side. Unwillingly staying with each other in search for Ava. 

Ava is sneaky, doubling back to Spain instead of Lisbon. Lilith and Mary run out onto the port, watching as she sails away, frustrated again. They walk back to the ferry building, Lilith angry. 

“You and I aren’t finished.” Lilith tells Mary as they walk out together. She grabs Mary’s shoulder, to which she immediately shrugs it off. 

“Touch me again and we will be.” Mary says, pushing away Lilith. She heads to her bike, getting in whilst listening to Lilith bitch about Ava and the halo, never shutting up about it. Mary drives away, taking Ava‘s side despite not knowing the girl all that much. 

Lilith finds her way back to Spain and Mary the same. Mary finds her on another deck. 

“Don’t make me put you down Lily,” Mary is definitely being snarky right now. The smile is noticeable and it makes Lilith want to rub off her face. 

“Why are you protecting her? She’s no one,” Lilith says it loud and clear, sticking by her ideas, shrugging in annoyance. Ava really is no one in Lilith’s eyes, but someone important that holds the halo between her shoulders, aggravating Lilith so much. 

“I’m not letting you hurt her,” Mary says as she lunges forward at Lilith. They hit and push, punching frustration away. 

Mary gets a hit on Lilith’s jaw, the other stepping back in surprise. “We used to be friends,” Lilith brings it up. “You’re the one who taught me how to shoot, remember?” she breathed out, looking at Mary uncomfortably. 

“And you know when we stopped being friends? When Shannon got the halo and you didn’t,” Mary reminds her. “You changed that day. You didn’t think she deserved it or Ava, no one deserves it but you.” The pitiful reminder hurts a bit. 

“You know my family, how I was raised. You know, you know I didn’t have a choice.” Lilith whines and Mary can't stand it. 

“ _ Do not _ try to gain sympathy from me because you’re too much of a coward to stand up to your mommy and daddy,” it’s childish, Mary knows, but it also riled Lilith up, hating that she’d talk about  _ her _ family like that. 

This time, Lilith lunges at Mary, insulted by her stupid comments. More punches are thrown, hits too. Mary throws Lilith against the railing, Lilith spins them around so that now Mary is against the railing. In this position, Mary has the upper hand, ramming into Lilith, easily lifting her up and throwing her into the water below. She watches as Lilith splashes the water in anger, walking away to find the ferry port building. 

Their disputes don’t end there. 

Mary and Lilith manage to get onto the exact boat that Ava is on, they just have to search. Mary walks through the aisles of people in hopes of spotting Ava but instead meets Lilith again, who pushes her into the restroom, for yet another fight. Mary thinks that Lilith finds satisfaction from continually beating her up. 

Somehow Lilith finds more strength this time, throwing Mary against the restroom mirror. “Stop! Damn it! You’re drawing too much attention!” Mary groans. 

Lilith laughs, the crazed look on her face tells Mary all she needs to know, “I don’t care.” 

Lilith walks backward into a stall, continuing their fighting. Mary grabs her by neck in a haste move. “Wait!” she huffs, “Let me get Ava off this boat and we’ll go back together. We’ll settle our differences there.” More pants. 

“You’re letting your emotions get in the way of what  _ you _ know is right. Just because you let Shannon  _ die _ , doesn’t mean you have to keep trying to save this one.” Lilith smirks, digging into Mary with personal information. Maybe fighting with someone who knows all about you is disastrous. Because things like this can come out, using the past to their advantage and for personal gain. Which is why Mary was upset at Lilith for being so fixated on the halo. 

Mary hits her, striking her really, yelling. Lilith maneuvers herself so that she has Mary in a chokehold, but instead of that, Mary  _ bites _ her. The pain from her arm is sharp, pushing Mary away. In a quick move, Mary handcuffs Lilith to the stalls railing.  _ Seriously, why does she carry so much on her? _ Mary walks away, another win if she was talking, searching for Ava. 

She does end up finding her at the bar, the other clearly distrustful of Mary. Ava tells her loudly that she's off to the Blue Grotto with the guy she met, Mary reminds her about the fact that she’s literally holds a halo between her shoulders and asks if he knew. Of course he doesn’t. 

Meanwhile, Lilith pries her hand off from the rail, damaging more of the restroom in the process, not that it mattered. She picks up the sword, placing the strap over her chest, behind her back. Lilith hopes no one has to use the restroom, unless they want to witness a destroyed restroom. She walks through the boat aisles, with only one person on her mind. Mary.

Lilith finds her, rushing up the stairs, straight towards Mary with determination. “Where’s the girl?” She gets into Mary’s space. 

“Enough. Will you just give her a minute?” Mary responds. Lilith looks appalled. 

“You’ve gotten soft,” she scoffs, almost smiling. 

“And you’ve gotten obsessed,” Mary exclaimed. 

Lilith thrusts her hand to Mary, wordlessly. Mary takes out the key. “And you wonder every day why you never got the halo.” Lilith shakes her head. Mary continues, “It’s eating at you, right?” Mary uncuffs her, Lilith turns her back on Mary, hoping to find Ava herself, but Mary catches her hand. 

“You’re a better warrior than Shannon ever was. You’re faster, stronger, smarter, but you’re no leader. Shannon was because she had heart. You don’t.” Mary didn’t hold back telling Lilith exactly what she needed to hear. Lilith’s chest aches, and not from the blows Mary gave her, remaining silent the whole time. She resists fighting Mary here, only because it  _ would _ draw attention. 

Mary reminds Lilith again of the choice that she can’t steer away from, applying it to Ava. And as she thinks that she’s getting her point across, out of the corner of her eye, Mary spots Ava running with the guy she just met. The two sprint down the stairs, down to the boating bridge, and into the building. Lilith is lucky, she doesn’t get caught by security but Mary can’t say the same. 

Lilith follows Ava and the boy, across the loading dock and into a warehouse. Lilith catches up with them, punching the boy who gets in her way, walking over to Ava. Ava punches her, and if Lilith wasn’t chasing after her, she’d be happy for that. “Look at you. You were paying attention after all.” she smirks, cocky about it. 

Though Ava is afraid. Lilith kicks her, throwing her balance off, restraining Ava with her hands behind her back. The halo glows brighter and brighter as she holds Ava down. Lilith grabs for the dagger in her boot, stabbing Ava, dragging the dagger down the halo, astonished at the  _ glow _ it emits. Ava yells and screams under Lilith.

And just how fate is predictable, Mary runs in, pushing Lilith off Ava, getting pushed by Ava instead. Lilith and Mary throw a few more punches before stopping, feeling an energy shift, one of a tarask, before it materializes in front of their eyes. It throws Mary back, making her hit the windshield of the car. The tarask goes for Ava, line of sight focused on the poor girl. She’s entirely defenseless. 

Lilith grabs the sword from her back, removing it from its sheath. She’s going to prove her worthiness, how she can endure being the one and only halo bearer, to prove that if she is fearless, she’s ready. 

Except that doesn’t happen. Before Lilith can strike the tarask, it stabs her instead, driving its claw through her back and out through her abdomen. The tarask lifts her in the air and Lilith drops the sword, and before Lilith either passes out or dies, she weakly tells Ava to get the sword. Never in a million years would Mary see Lilith do something selfless, for the sake of proving a point. It’s entirely unrealistic. 

Ava grabs the sword and strikes the tarask once and it disappears, along with Lilith. Mary watches it all in total shock, and then watches as Ava runs away again through teary eyes. 

—

Mary walks around the Spanish town with a heavy heart. Lilith is gone. Ava is gone. And all she can do now is search for Ava, because Lilith is  _ gone _ . Lilith died. And Mary had to keep going. Keep going. Because this is the second person she’s lost in a short period of time. Luck isn’t on her side. And she just has to keep going.

Walking through the mountain is a bitch because of her sprained leg, and the mountain was the only indicator of Ava from the stranger who saw her. 

Ava finds Mary some time later, sitting on the dirt, rubbing her injured leg. Surprisingly, Ava makes a makeshift splint for Mary, and Mary accepts her help. Ava leaves. 

Yet, Mary finds her this time, sitting on the edge of a cliff. She lets Ava talk, talk about how she didn’t ask for this and she’d rather return to her normalcy. Mary kicks her off the cliff. 

Mary finds a cave as well, for the night, starting a fire and cooks the animal. As she eats, the dagger glows, and with that, Ava walks into the cave. Dirty, considering Mary had pushed her off that cliff.  _ Eh _ . After they settle down, Ava questions Mary about how exactly she found herself in the OCS, given that she’s not a nun. Mary just tells her that she found a home there and that is final. 

Waking up the next morning, the two trek out into more mountain lands, heading to the nearest village Mary mentioned before. They arrive, are greeted by the locals, then offered food as a welcome. Throughout the day, Ava follows around Mary, talking more about her plans and what it would mean for the OCS, and about what would happen the following days. At night, they sleep in a church, giving them new clothes too. 

Mary wakes up the next morning, early— before sunrise —and follows the local people out onto a viewing platform, taking in the emerging sun from behind the mountains. She closes her eyes, taking a deep breath, thinking of both Lilith and Shannon. The two people she cared about,  _ gone _ . It was strange saying that even though there was hate between them, Mary still cared for Lilith, as a sort of reminiscing memory of when they were okay with each other. And  _ Shannon _ . Mary would do anything in her power to find the persons responsible for her unexpected death. 

—

Mary leaves the village, leaving Ava alone so that she has time to reflect on her options, because if she forced Ava to leave, Mary knows there’s a big chance that Ava would leave again. Mary leaves with Beatrice. During the drive, Beatrice asks for Lilith, “She wasn’t there today.”

Mary hesitates, knowing that if she told her the real truth, she’d freak out, understandable. “I’ll tell you later, promise.”

Returning to Andalusia, Mary arrives alone, without Ava that is. Once at the Cradle, Mary tells Mother Superion, Beatrice, and Camila about the tragic incident. They couldn’t believe her words. (“So a tarask, a real tarask, came in and stabbed her? Lilith must’ve been so scared.” Camila tells Mary, utterly shocked.) (“Bad things happen to everyone I care about.”)

It’s still not easy. Mary comes up with a theory that a hidden room resides within the walls of Shannon’s room after finding a piece of her habit in the wall, claiming that with the help of Ava, she can find information about who Shannon was skeptical of and see what exactly is in the hidden chamber. Beatrice tells her that she can’t help Mary due to the excommunication,  _ fun _ . 

—

Lilith, objectively, has a horrible time. Wherever the tarask dragged her to was dark and grimy, full of other tarask and wraiths. The image of hell that the church paints would not compare to this. There is no eternal suffering because no souls resided there, so suffering was not a thing. 

Lilith thinks she’s the exception. 

Funny. In the bible,  _ that _ Lilith becomes a demoness woman, able to transport herself through realms, and was dark and terrifying. Maybe this is Lilith’s fate. Becoming akin to the biblical depictions of her. 

The tarask could’ve killed her easily, there would’ve been no need for it to take her to their dimension and world, but it didn’t. She saw before that the tarask killed anyone in its way— the nun and monk —slashing at Shannon as well, but it didn’t do that for Lilith. So how was she any different? What qualities did she possess that granted her life through  _ their _ world? There are no definite answers to her questions, not like the demons can talk. 

Lilith materializes in front of the church, confused to find herself back in _her_ _normal_ world. She does a double take in case it was only a vision. It is not. So, Lilith walks through the building, finding fewer people than normal. Normally, the Cradle was busy with women walking around, completing their tasks or training. But it was eerily quiet. 

Lilith walks into the cathedral, hoping to find somebody but no one appears.

She sees a person and that scares her, taking her out of her thoughts. She rushes into an open area, hiding herself from however may be out there. Once the people leave, Lilith walks around whatever she hid behind— a portrait of herself. Lilith sees herself but it’s not her. She draws her attention away from the picture, and looks at what appears to be a memorial with multiple pictures. Before she can look through all, a sharp ringing stops her, whining from the noise. 

A person calls out and Lilith disappears, taking the picture she had in hands with her. 

—

Mary heads to Arq-Tech with Ava, Beatrice, Camila, and Father Vincent as a way to help Ava with her phasing abilities so she could get into the tomb without any hindrance. There, Mary and Father Vincent set out on locating the map of the tomb, so there would be less problems navigating the catacombs. 

Lilith teleports to Arq-Tech, sensing Ava‘s powers there (the presence inside her knew, knew more than Lilith could ever), so she tries and ends up in the hallways of the building. Lilith doesn’t take more than a few steps, stepping into the room where Ava was in, uttering her name and then collapsing. 

Father Vincent finds the map, through his odd connections, considering he’s a Father… Mary thinks it’s strange but whatever. To each their own. She arrived at Arq-Tech with Father Vincent, it was a weird drive back. After sending the map to Kristian, he lets them know where exactly the tomb is and that’s all they want. 

The group, Ava, Beatrice, Camila, Mary, and Father Vincent, leave Arq-Tech with what they need, leaving behind Lilith so she could heal with medical assistance from Jillian. It’s all unusual. Lilith has a huge scar over her abdomen, which when she poked and peeled it, the marred skin healed. This is definitely not normal. And her black hair turning gray isn’t either. Whatever is in her made Lilith into this. 

—

The following days were full of more chaos, the new group of recruits were evil and quite literally tried to kill Ava, and the team had to travel to the Vatican to scour for the hidden tomb. There was no issue breaking and entering into the Vatican, really simple given they had help from Ava, and devised a plan, Mary would head up to the bell tower and Ava and Beatrice to the tomb. 

Micheal tells Lilith she’s too late. She leaves— teleports really —thinking she has enough energy to find her friends, and she does. Lilith finds herself in the catacombs, met with Mother Superion and Father Vincent not too far from where Ava is. Then, an ex-member holds Lilith at knifepoint. In a bout of fury, Lilith lashes at her, opening up her neck with her thick claws, leaving the girl to bleed to death. Lilith walks past the two, unfazed, heading to Ava. 

Once Mary rang the bells to give Ava and Beatrice notice of when to enter the tomb, she made her way down there, catching up with them.

Lilith meets Ava, pushing the girl down, claiming that the halo  _ can not enter _ the tomb. Ava is annoyed, being pushed down by Lilith yet again. 

It all boils down to the fact that Mary is bound to find Lilith someway somehow because she’s here in the tombs and not in Spain. 

Lilith fights with both Beatrice and Mary, all she seemed to be doing these past few days. Mary wins, taking Lilith into a chokehold. 

Mary gasps, holding Lilith, “It’s me. It’s Mary.” 

“I know who you are.” Lilith responds loudly, struggling against Mary’s hold. 

“Yeah I don’t think you know who you are. I’ll help you remind you. You are brave, you are loyal, and you are way more giving than you want anyone to know. I have seen you put yourself into the path of pure evil to protect the rest of us.” Lilith struggles less, actually hearing the words. “I have seen you lay down your life to keep your Sisters safe.”

“You called me heartless,” Lilith meekly reminds her, something that had been on her mind since Mary told her. 

“And then you had to go and prove me wrong,” the moment where she would stand against the tarask will never leave her head. “I don’t know what lies your mind are telling you, but you are Sister Lilith of the Order of the Cruciform Sword. You hear me? You hear me, My Sister.” Mary’s voice breaks. Both close to tears. 

“And I see you. I see you. I see you.” Mary repeats this, hoping Lilith will internalize it. 

“I don’t know what’s happening to me, Mary. I’m losing my mind,” Lilith sounds  _ scared _ . Being afraid was never something Lilith spoke of, was never something she’d expose, but in the arms of Mary, she let herself  _ feel _ . Mary let go of Lilith. Lilith grabs Mary, hugging her. 

“I’ve got you,” Mary repeats this mantra, kissing Lilith’s head, soothing her until she shook no more. 

Lilith cried. Also something she rarely did. Mostly because if she were to become halo bearer, she’d have to be strong all the time, never once letting the mask slip down. If she let herself feel, there’d be consequences, something she internalized from her parents. But here she allowed herself to let the tears flow. 

Ava ran into the tomb, leaving the three alone. Mary held onto Lilith for as long as she needed.

—

It was a disaster. Adriel was someone unimaginable. They blew up the thick walls, getting Ava out of there, getting themselves out of there. They barely escape before Adriel can have a chance to chase after them. Running out to the plaza, there are crowds of people screaming, running from Adriel as he pushes people away. 

_ Shit _ . 

Father Vincent walks up to Adriel, does he have a death wish? It didn’t matter what he said to him, Adriel stepped aside from Father Vincent. 

“Vincent set us up.” Beatrice states plainly, watching Adriel. 

“But if he’s working for Adriel...” Ava doesn’t finish her sentence, looking at Beatrice. 

“That means Vincent killed Shannon.” Mary is filled with anger. “Motherfu-” She attempts to walk to him, held back by the group. The person she’d grown to trust betrays her like  _ this _ ? No, now,  _ he _ needed to die, no matter how or when. Mary was blindly taking his advice when all the advice did was steer her in the wrong direction, one that didn’t point to Vincent, so that she wouldn’t suspect. “Mary don’t!” Beatrice loudly says. 

Lilith steps forward, putting her hand on Mary’s shoulder, “I'll handle this.” Lilith nods, confirming it to Mary. 

Lilith walks ahead, unbothered. Once she’s in Adriel’s vicinity, he tries his powers on her, but to no avail, it didn't work on her, Lilith staying put. 

“You’ve been to the other side… What are you?” Adriel asks quizzically, astonished as to how someone could not be affected by his powers. 

“Doesn’t matter. But I know what you really are. Nothing but a thief.” Lilith replies, smiling. She does know, in fact, the demons filled her with knowledge on Adriel, to the point where she was siding with them rather than Adriel. That’s some benefit she gets from being in their dimension…  _ right? _

With that, he throws Lilith across the plaza floor. That action makes Beatrice, Camila, and Mary rush to Adriel. The four, along with Lilith, trap him on whatever side they could, attacking him as much as possible, throwing whatever they had on hand to Adriel, trying to weaken him. Camila shoots her crossbow, Beatrice uses special throwing stars, Lilith uses her newfound claws to scratch him— doesn’t work because he chokes her. Mary comes in and breaks them apart, shooting Adriel in the face. They continue fighting until they think they have him down, Camila shooting an arrow through his skull. 

While impressive, it was not enough to take him down, because he rises again, removing the arrow from his head.  _ Freaky _ . 

The group stands next to each other now, Ava behind them, ready for whatever the fuck Adriel has to throw. 

“In this life or the next.” Ava announced. 

The group repeats her, but then Mary stands in front of them, stating, “Fuck that. In this life.” She then runs headfirst into battle, shooting any possessed people around her. It’s horrific, seeing her get swarmed by many people, her screams are the only thing they can hear as they rush in to save Mary from the crowds of people that surround her. Lilith makes quick work, slashing at the people around Mary. Beatrice and Camila rush in too, pushing off people and beating the literal demon out of them. 

They’ve taken on possessed people before, no easy feat, but this is something else entirely. Too much for the five to handle. Normally it would be less than ten, normally they’d come out unscathed, but now, now is a different thing altogether. This was a horrible time, the people just  _ engulf _ them. 

Ava realizes that the only way he’d go down is if she used the divinium sword on him, thinking that if their previous actions and blows didn’t work on him, she would have to be the one to face him alone. It’s scary though. This is her first time having to help them navigate through the wraith demons, aiding them in taking the demons down. 

They try to work their way through the possessed people, though killing them would be easier, given the sheer amount of people there. It’s too much. 

While Beatrice, Camila, and Lilith navigate the crowd to find Mary, Ava uses the last remaining portion of her powers to send out a quick halo blast out onto the crowd. 

The people go limp, wraiths taken out of their bodies through the force of the halo. The sharp ringing makes Adriel look at her, falling to the ground. Ava falls too, caught too soon from Beatrice, who noticed her out of the corner of her eye,  _ tired _ . “Are you okay?” Beatrice scans her eyes over Ava‘s face and body, everything in order but knows that Ava wore herself out too thin. Ava weakly nods, standing up with the help of Beatrice. 

He stands, impressed from her work. Adriel walks over the crowds of people, not yet conscious. Camila aims her crossbow at him again, aiming for his head. Mary lost one shotgun from the people, so she pointed a single shotgun at him. Lilith and Beatrice stand ready. 

“Impressive. I didn’t think you could do it, Ava.” Adriel talks directly to Ava, unfocused on the others. 

Ava knows this is her chance, to at least strike him away, maybe not kill him but cause damages. She grips the sword handle tightly, holding with both hands. She gathers enough courage and strength to take him down. Ava breathes in, and on her exhale, Ava trudges to him, the others following suit. 

Ava gets one huge slash across his chest, penetrating deep enough to see bone and organs, surely his freakish hell powers can’t heal him that fast. They scream as Ava takes him down, surprised and amazed altogether. Camila and Mary shoot until they run out of ammo. Beatrice kicks him down after Ava strikes him, Lilith providing help to Beatrice. 

It doesn’t matter if one of the Ten Commandments is to not kill people, there should be an exception when it comes to a freaky, unnatural superhuman and a small group who fear for their lives. 

Once Adriel is down, groaning from pain, Mary tries to find Vincent to give him a taste of his own medicine.  _ Gone _ . She makes sure to check every spot but he’s not there, probably left during the fight. That makes Mary’s blood boil more. He dragged them into this mess and  _ left?! _

All the five could do was run now. Adriel is down, Vincent is nowhere to be found, and the newly appointed Pope would catch the team if they stayed for too long. 

Beatrice and Camila help Ava as they run, Ava is not completely drained but walking is hard for her. Mary and Lilith follow them. 

“Once I find Vincent, he’s dying. I can’t believe I trusted him.” Mary cries out literally and physically, rounding a corner. 

They all stop, inhaling deeply, “What happens now?” Beatrice says to them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh shit...


	3. chapter three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i will be running with the common fic trope of them running away/evacuating from the vatican because it makes sense for this lmao and it's easy to write imo
> 
> also hii avatrice i see you..
> 
> ((ps: italicized dialogue is another language))

The team find a van, lucking out in a very fortunate way, which Camila broke into, thank God for her and her wire knowledge. They maneuver Ava into the backseat, laying her out for minimal discomfort as possible. Beatrice sticks by her side, holding her hand for comfort. 

Once everyone is in the vehicle, they settle for a moment, calming themselves as the adrenaline rush crashes. Mary sees Beatrice holding onto Ava, like she did with Shannon, heart shattering at that resemblance, Beatrice murmuring silent prayers. Lilith stares at her hands, covered in blood, as well as her uniform, the dark blue turning into a maroon, purplish color. Ava takes shallow breaths, tired from the exertion of the halo, it took all the energy out of her. 

Overall, they’re mostly fine, minus Ava and Mary. They’ll need more care and healing time. Beatrice worries over Ava, she hadn’t exerted herself like that in the short while Beatrice got to know each other, bad thoughts flooding her mind about Ava’s overall health. Beatrice looks at Ava one last time, looking up to see the rest of the group. Mary sits in a seat, stretched out; Lilith curled in on herself; Camila is their getaway driver. 

They pray and hope  _ no one _ saw where they went, needing the escape to be as easy and effective as possible. And if someone did, they could play it off as other totally not similar nuns leaving the area they totally didn’t indirectly destroy. 

—

Mary gives Camila vague directions, guiding Camila for the drive, settling on a village outside of Rome (connections are important, given her line of work, and life saving in this case). It’s harder at night but they make it through. 

Camila turns on the radio, killing the sad silence between them, hoping to find some radio station to have something to listen to. 

“ _...report on the Vatican. Police and officials are looking for the suspects behind the recent tragic event, claiming this as a terrorist attack against the Church. Newly appointed Pope Dur- _ ”

Camila turned the radio off so fast, a bit afraid that she damaged the knobs. That’s not a good thing to hear. Her heart races, glancing at her team, sighing to herself. They’re okay for now. They should be. 

Lilith perks up at that, staring out the windshield, seeing the road with limited visibility. Her mind is quiet, no ringing or pain has emerged. Unconsciously, Lilith places over the scar, feeling it’s  _ warmth? _ It shouldn’t be warm… 

She looks over at Mary. 

Mary feels someone watching and glances over. Her expression remains neutral, leaning towards frustration and annoyance. Lilith knows how betrayed Mary must feel, trusting someone and then they turn around and stab you in the back repeatedly… She can’t help but feel sorry. 

Mary looks up, seeing Lilith give her a melancholic look. Mary just huffs, leaning her head against the window. 

—

After their drive, nearing 5 hours, they make it to a large village, making their way to the safe house near the outskirts of said village, built there for privacy and as a gift from the village people. Mary assures Camila that this is the place. Camila parks on the makeshift dirt driveway, turning back to face the others. They have seen better days, and also, this was still all new to Camila! No prior experience and now she sucked into this, obviously she’d want to help but still! God help her. 

Beatrice straightens her posture from being bent and squished into a small place, still holding onto Ava, whose breathing returned to some normality. She blinks away the groggy feeling, noticing now how puffy her eyes were. 

Mary stretched, pulling on some sore muscles mainly on her back and shoulders. She thinks about where the house key could be or if there was a sort of code for the door, either way, Mary thought about just going in and being able to sleep on an actual bed. 

Lilith uncurled her legs, stretching them out as much as she could with limited space. Her joints quite literally hurt and were locked for too long than necessary, a strain on her body. 

Mary gets out, walking around to the trunk, popping it open so that they can move Ava out easily, with less strain on their bodies and hers. 

“How is she?” Mary asks Beatrice, sighing. 

“Her breathing returned to normal, and heart rate, but I’m sure that she’s still extremely exhausted, Ava hasn’t moved,” Beatrice comments, looking at Mary then at Ava. 

Mary furrows her eyebrows together, concerned. Ava overexerted herself for the sake and safety of her team, saving them from danger. Mary asks Camila for help with Ava, the three pull her out of the back of the vehicle. Lilith comes out, seeing them with Ava, rushing towards them. 

The five head to the house’s front door, the pathway covered in shrubs and various plants, plain but different from other properties in the area. A simple one-story house, browns and tans cover the exterior of the house, compared to the white and gray houses of the local village but complemented the greenery around it. The entrance to the front door is wide, the emblem of the OCS serves as its sole distinguisher from the other houses. The property was built in honor for the OCS for how they helped the people from complete chaos and destruction, super thankful now that they’re considered fugitives. 

Mary checks the door, locked. She looks for the key, knowing that it’d be hidden somewhere around the entrance. Beatrice and Camila hold Ava tight, not wanting her to fall, Lilith behind the three for security. They’re all quiet while Mary searches. 

She does find it, chuckling as she opens the door, thankful that it was kept in the small box under a bush near there. 

Inside, the house is bare, providing the minimum for whoever may need it. A hallway leads them into the main area of the house. There, a large living room in front of them, the living space forming an “L” around the kitchen, adjacent to an equally larger kitchen, furnished with all the necessary appliances. A hallway runs through the kitchen and living room, with rooms and adjoining bathrooms. Other rooms, similar to offices, are found at the end of either hallway. All in all, it is certainly not a shabby place. 

Beatrice and Camila walk Ava into a bedroom, placing her on the bed, adjusting Ava. Beatrice stays behind in case she were to wake. 

“Don’t worry Camila, you’ve done enough for us,” Beatrice smiles, accommodating herself, pushing a chair as close as possible to the bed. 

Camila reciprocated that gesture, sadly smiling, “No worries…” she pauses, thinking, “What do you think is going to happen, Bea?” The question is vague, but Beatrice knew it was about the recent attack. 

“I’m not sure, if I’m being honest. We can only hope for the best.” Beatrice shrugs, then is left alone with Ava. She sighs, running her hand through Ava’s matted hair, praying that she wakes up and comes back to Beatrice, to her team. Beatrice cares for Ava, and with this, she worries, worries so much about Ava because in the past days, Beatrice had grown to like her. 

Meanwhile, Mary lays on the sofa, exhausted from everything that has happened, needing rest now! Mary thinks how cruel it all is, that the person she confided in let her down like  _ this _ . To kill her girlfriend and for what? What was the reason that he wanted Shannon dead? Mary can’t think of a logical reason, thinking it was all due to his link with Adriel. She thinks of revenge on Vincent before finally being able to sleep, maybe not comfortably but her body needed it. 

Lilith and Camila scope out the house, checking out the rooms and bathrooms, they definitely needed products, food, and clothing if they were planning on staying for a while. Camila hopes for the best. 

Lilith walks outside, the yard full of greenery and a relatively large area of flat land along with a table and chairs, to clear her thoughts. The gray hair is new. Lilith doesn’t know if it’ll return to normal but she hopes it does, because it’s enough that she has supernatural powers, Lilith doesn’t want to be reminded of them  _ with her hair _ . Nor the claws. It’s scary and new. 

—

Hours later, Mary wakes, feeling like shit. The nap helped but the sore muscles didn’t just disappear, much to her demise. She walks around the house, finding Ava and Beatrice in one bedroom, Camila sleeping in another, and Lilith outside. 

“You should rest, being worried like this isn’t good,” Mary tells Beatrice from the doorway. Beatrice frowns a bit. 

Beatrice clears her throat, “I know, but I just want to make sure she’s here…”

Mary sighed, “Ava isn’t going anywhere and I know that if she was awake, she’d tell you to rest.” she grins at Beatrice, who slightly smiles. 

Beatrice nods, telling Mary that she’ll try to rest, but makes no move to do so. 

It’s interesting how Ava of all people is the one that Beatrice is more drawn to, and Ava is drawn to Beatrice because of her welcoming energy. Beatrice was changed because of Ava, in a good way. Beatrice cares for Ava, and Ava the same; a bond that cannot be replaced. Mary notes that it was similar to her and Shannon, praying that Ava doesn’t meet the same fate as Shannon had. 

Mary leaves the pair alone, walking out of the hallway into the kitchen, noting that they have to get food and other necessities before anything else. Normally, a getaway house is supposed to be relaxing and liberating but it’s the exact opposite for them, they have to stay hidden away so tensions die down and the stress that surrounds the event weakens. Knowing the Church, it would likely take weeks… How long? No one knows. 

Mary sees Lilith outside, sitting on one of the chairs. She goes out, needing a breather too. 

“What’re you doing out here?” Mary says as she closes the door, going over to sit down in the chair next to Lilith. The silver hair surprises Mary for some reason, now that she has time to look at it. 

Lilith shrugs, glancing at Mary before turning her attention away, “Nothing really. Just… thinking?” 

She has never sounded more unsure in her life. And the uncertainty comes with the recent events she’s been through. Fight, death, life, more fighting, and evacuation. Lilith hasn’t had a moment to fully absorb all in yet. She hasn’t come to terms with the hell thing, it’s certain that no one would come back from that unscathed because it’s just impossible, there’s too many variables involved. She can’t have a moment of reflection or peace, not in their situation. 

“Yeah well, there’s a lot to think about,” Mary keeps it vague, crossing her arms. 

Lilith looks at Mary again, “How’s Ava doing? It’s... concerning.”

Mary keens up at that. Lilith, worried over Ava, the halo bearer? Never in a million years would Mary ever hear her say something like that, considering how much she wanted to be in her position! “She’s okay, but not awake. Beatrice is looking after her. She’s very worried, and I don’t blame her.” Lilith nods at her affirmation. 

Lilith picks up a strand of her hair, showing it to Mary. “Do you think this is temporary or will it go away Mary?” Lilith’s uncertain of the recent, drastic change. Not that she cared so much about her hair, mainly having it tucked away under the habit, but here, it’s exposed and different, too different for her likings. 

“I don’t know Lilith, I really have no clue. Do you want to talk about-” Mary is cut off by a strong “no” from Lilith, who puts her hand down, now gazing away from Mary. 

“I don’t want to talk about it yet. I haven’t even begun to process it, so why would I tell you now?” Lilith responds rather harshly, Mary can see Lilith tense her shoulders. 

“Well it has to come out sometime soon, Lily. There has to be an explanation for this, because it’s not normal.” Mary shrugs. 

“Not yet, Mary. I mean it,” Lilith states firmly. 

Mary leaves her be. Lilith barely scratched at the surface with her inter-dimensional problem, knowing that given a few days she’ll be ready to explain the whole situation, letting everyone else know, hopefully. Now, Mary and Lilith sit in silence, taking in the scenery around them. 

After a while of sitting alone, Mary begrudgingly stood up, wincing, “I checked the kitchen, there’s no food here so we have to get food and all that. You’re coming with me.” Mary states it so plainly, like a normal saying rather than a request. 

Lilith just nods along, finally looking at her, “Sure. But what about the others?” 

“They’re fine, not like they’re going anywhere,” Mary exclaims. “Besides, I need your help anyway.” 

Lilith gets up, walking over to Mary, hands kept to her back, “Well then, Mary, let’s go.”

They head into the house together, silent as ever, Mary heading over to the rooms to advise whoever is awake. And Beatrice is found awake, almost dozing off. Mary tells her about their plan, getting a nod as confirmation from Beatrice. Lilith sees from behind Mary that Ava is sleeping, skin pale, almost drained of color, yet she knows that Beatrice would take good care of her. The two leave Beatrice alone, washing up before walking out of the house and into the small market in the village. 

Upon arriving there, they are met with obvious stares from the locals because they are foreigners in the village but are not met with any sort of risks or troubles, navigating their way through the stands for what they need. They pick out as many fruits and vegetables as they think they can make do with, putting them into a bag Mary found, not knowing how drastic their situation is, and only get what lasts for a few days before spoiling, considering the rest into the equation. Someone operating one of the stands notices them, beckoning them over. They approach the woman apprehensively. 

“ _ You’re from the OCS, right? _ ” The woman asks in a thick Italian accent, pointing to the emblem on Lilith’s outfit, though a bit bloody. 

“ _ Yes _ ,” Lilith responds hesitantly. She looks to Mary for approval, who nods. 

“ _ Welcome, any reason? _ ” The woman asks. 

“ _ It’s personal _ ,” Lilith replies, sternly. 

“ _ Don’t worry, it’s fine. Let us know if you are in need of anything else. Take it! _ ” The woman is rather enthusiastic about this but they know it’s due to the OCS’s influence in this area, well more specifically, this village and its people. She doesn’t shy away from letting them take the produce with them, happy to help them with anything. 

Lilith nodded, “ _ Thank you _ .” The woman, though, tells the other women around her about them, reminding them of their great help, and though they are not the ones directly involved in that work, they are welcomed regardless. The women around them cheer, a resemblance of happiness for Lilith and Mary. 

Lilith does explain to Mary that the woman is more than happy to help them and that the produce is on her. Mary chucked at that, grabbing more meat because of that too. 

The two leave, thanking the woman, heading back to their temporary home. 

Mary clears her throat, the slightest step behind Lilith on the dirt road to the house, “I’m not going to force you to talk about what happened _ back there _ , but I cannot believe what you did. During training, they tell us to not stand anywhere near the wraiths unless you want possession, not without the help of the halo bearer, yet you defied their orders. That doesn’t seem like the Lilith I know.” Mary shakes her head, clutching the bag harder, walking through the limp. 

Lilith gives Mary a good look before looking ahead at the dirt road, huffing, “I did it to prove that what you said was all wrong, that I do have  _ heart _ . And if I didn’t do that, you probably wouldn’t be here... nor Ava,” her voice raises, teetering towards nervousness, fidgeting with her hands. It probably would’ve been true, no one knows the truth behind tarasks, let alone why they truly exist in the human realm. A mystery too dangerous for Lilith to think about. 

Mary stops in her tracks, Lilith looks back, facing her. “You went through all that just so you could say ‘fuck you Mary!’? Jesus, there are other ways that don’t involve death Lilith!” 

Mary cannot believe her right now. She went through hell to prove she had heart, to prove to herself that Mary is lying! Lilith isn’t one to shy away from the expectations placed upon her but to go to that extent is literally too far.

“In that moment it felt right. Obviously now it’s not.” Lilith furrows her eyebrows together.

“Obviously it’s not Lilith! Did you sign a fucking death wish? Of all people I would’ve never expected  _ you _ to run into a damn tarask!” Mary is furious. 

“But I’m here now  _ Mary _ , that’s all that matters.” Lilith responds bitterly, walking to Mary. 

“That still doesn’t excuse what you did! You walked in front of a demon!” Mary includes, frustrated. 

Lilith takes the bag from Mary’s hand, then embraces her from the side, rubbing her back. Mary puts her head down for a moment, before lifting it to the sky, sighing. Mary looks at Lilith, holding eye contact, pain and relief simultaneously wash over her face. Mary should be glad that her friend (…can she call her that again?) isn’t dead but the concern still lives on, though laced with frustration. Mary kept losing people close and valuable to her, making her think that maybe that’s just her shitty fucking luck. Her mom, her girlfriend, her friend. All extremely valuable yet gone, why does it keep happening?

Lilith breaks eye contact, looking ahead to the house in the short distance, starting to walk to it, but she does lean more into Mary as they walk. 

—

They get back to the house okay, finding Camila in the living room. 

“Oh! There you are. I was looking for you guys,” Camila says as she watches them come in. “Where did you go?” 

“The market,” Mary replies. Lilith is a step in front so she sets the bag down on the kitchen counter. 

They did get as much as they needed, along with some extras because the stand woman let them take it. They need to thank her. 

Camila walks over, seeing what items they got. She does note Lilith’s hair, still silvery gray from the night prior, and that reminds Camila of the scar that she bears on her abdomen which shocked Beatrice and Lilith herself. Camila shakes the thought away, focusing more on the present situation and the two women in front of her than the past. 

Lilith dumps the food out of the bag and onto the counter, sorting them by categories and ripeness, and once that’s sorted, she hands Mary and Camila the items that need to go into the refrigerator. Lilith doesn’t speak, silently handing them the food the whole time, still thinking about Mary’s words. 

Once that’s finished, Lilith leaves them, leaving Mary and Camila alone. She walks through the hallway, finding an unoccupied room to rest in. In the bedroom she found, a mirror hangs on one of the walls, facing the bed. She walks to it, the reflection confuses Lilith, and she brings her hands up to the tangled strands, trying to brush through her hair as she views herself. The next thing she finally notices is how her face is bloody along with parts of her clothes, and remembers that she did slash that girl's neck, killing her, though felt nothing from it. The Lilith in the mirror is not the one she recognizes, not the one she knows, and it only makes her furrow her eyebrows in uncertainty. How could a few days just change a person so fast? 

—

In the room that Beatrice and Ava share (there is no way Beatrice is leaving Ava alone, not until Ava is well and safe), Beatrice finally succumbs to sleep, her body exhausted from the past events. The stress is expected but to be put through all this in a short period gives her anxieties and extra tension that needs to be worked through. She did murmur a small prayer for their health and for strength before sleeping. Beatrice’s dreams are full of nothing but provided ease. 

Ava twitches, jerking awake, groaning. She squints her eyes open, met with the white ceiling before rolling to her side, wincing. Somehow it brings relief and pain. She fully opens her eyes, adjusting to the light and vastly different environment. Hours ago she faced a supernatural being and now she’s in a house? Ava definitely missed some things. She lays there for another moment before building up strength to sit up, this is so much fucking different from the last time she exerted herself. Twisting her neck pops it loudly.  _ Wow _ .  _ Oh huh, Beatrice is here?  _ Her heart races. 

“Beatrice?” Ava’s voice is raspy, throat dry, making her flinch in embarrassment. They are still in their fighting attire, very obvious that changing clothes is the least of their worries. Ava looks around the room as well, very bare. 

Beatrice wakes to Ava’s voice, shaking her out of sleep. First she’s shocked that Ava is finally up and secondly, she feels better but her nerves start coming up, making her heart flutter. 

“Ava,” Beatrice breathes out, thankful. In a moment of happiness, Beatrice actually gets up from her chair and hugs Ava, grinning and chuckling. Beatrice holds her tight, relief washes over her, grateful for her and everyone. Ava is surprised, not quite taken back by the gestures but she takes it, runs with it, smiling into the embrace. They stay like that for who knows how long— no longer than a couple more seconds —before Beatrice let's go, taking her face in her hands and Ava closes her eyes at that, sort of inspecting her while Beatrice assures herself that Ava is  _ alive _ . 

“Are you okay?” Ava asks, feeling Beatrice run her thumbs along her cheeks. Beatrice laughs, a good feeling despite the circumstances. 

“You’re asking me  _ that? _ I should be asking you that.” She brings her hands down to Ava’s shoulder, holding them there. 

“Well then. The others?” Ava smiles, opening her eyes, looking towards the door, then turning back to face Beatrice, her face bears nervousness. 

“We’re safe. At least for now. Mary found this safe house for us in the meantime.” Beatrice answers, giving Ava a quick answer for why they’re in a house and not anywhere else, knowing she’d ask Beatrice that question. 

“I was going to ask that… But what fucking happened back there?” Ava scrunches her eyebrows together, worried. 

“You- what do you remember?” 

“I remember exploding- well not exploding, but the halo sent out a huge blast over the crowd, and then I stabbed the asshole… That’s pretty much all I can remember. Did anything else happen?,” Ava’s retelling is accurate, those big details being more prominent than anything else. 

Beatrice shakes her head, “No, though you pretty much got everything in order. But not the evacuation,” Ava widens her eyes. “You passed out from exhaustion, so we had to find our way here without getting detected, which was a success, and this safe house will provide us with security for now.” Beatrice finishes, smiling for a moment. 

Ava gasps, confused, “So we’re considered runaways?” 

“In a sense.”

“Shit,” Beatrice scolds Ava for her language, gaining a stare from Ava. 

Ava is shocked that they’d do such a thing, but if it meant safety, she’s not one to judge them on decisions that mean life or death. Beatrice gazes at Ava for too long, glancing away and hoping that Ava doesn’t notice the faint blush forming. 

Ava gets up, truly standing, feeling soreness before relief wages over. The rest helped both Ava and the halo, providing energy so that the halo can work its power. She removed the jacket and her shoes for relief. Beatrice stands to the side of her, stretching. They walk out of the room together, investigating to find the main area of the house. 

They meet Camila and Mary who just began cooking in the kitchen. Mary catches them out of the corner of her eye, laughing. 

“Shit, you’re finally awake. We were getting worried,” Mary says, seeing them walk into the kitchen practically hand in hand (they were close enough, Beatrice wants to think of it as just providing support but it’s not that entirely).

“Ava! I’m glad you’re awake,” Camila all but runs over to Ava, giving her a hug. Ava smiles into the hug, warmth spreading through her body, then pulls away from the embrace. 

“Thanks? It just felt like a long nap to me,” Ava jokes. 

“Well it’s a good thing you’re up now because we’re just getting started,” Mary offers Ava and Beatrice a warm smile. 

“Awesome.” Ava says excitedly. She does look around, they’re missing someone. 

“Where’s Lilith?” Beatrice beats her to the punch, asking Mary. They take a seat at the dinner table, adjacent to each other. 

Mary looks up from the cutting board, stopping her movements, glancing to the hallway where she saw Lilith walk into. “Last I saw, she went over there,” Mary tilts her head to the direction of the hallway. 

“I don’t think she feels well,” Camila comments to Ava and Beatrice. 

Then, Lilith seemingly materializes in front of them like they called her over, scaring all. She appears in the middle of the kitchen, sensing the halo’s new burst in activity and energy, signaling to Lilith that Ava is up and awake. 

“Shit!” 

“What the fuck!” 

“Lilith!” 

Ava is most surprised, and given how Lilith treated her before, it’s no shocker. 

“Ava.” Lilith almost sounds relieved. 

“Lilith what the fuck?! You scared the shit out me,” Ava exaggerates, dramatically yelling. 

“You’re here,” Lilith breathes out, focusing her attention on Ava, forgetting everyone else. 

Ava shrugs, “Yeah obviously I’m here. You still fucking scared me.”

Beatrice gets up, heading to Lilith, checking on her friend, “Are you okay Lilith?” Lilith looked at her now, in front of her, and nodded. Lilith steps away from Beatrice, heading to Ava, holding back. Ava feels some form of hesitation from

being near Lilith.

“Are you okay?” Ava questions, starting off small. 

Lilith tries not to groan from that, “Yes, I’m fine.”

“Okay. The hair is… definitely a change.” Ava tries to balance the tensions between them. Maybe that wasn’t good?

Lilith hums, giving Ava a cold stare, tilting her chin up. Mary watches, paying attention to Lilith, seeing if a fight would break out. Mary doesn’t doubt that. 

“Lilith, come,” Mary beckons her over, separating Lilith from Ava for good reason and concern. 

“What?” Lilith asks as she walks to Mary.

“Don’t think about it. She’s tougher than you think,” Mary grins, remembering what happened that night in the cave. 

“I won’t go easy on her and she better know that.”

“Never said to go easy on her, but ease up. We can’t all be like you,” Mary lightly laughs, jabbing at Lilith. 

Lilith chuckles, the first good noise Mary’s heard from her in a while. “Surely you can try. Missing combat skills already Mary?”

“Wow…” Mary whistles, going back to chopping the vegetables, grinning. Lilith looks over at Ava still, knowing that even though now Lilith means no harm, Ava is going to keep her distance because you can’t just not think about someone trying to kill you and then try to befriend them later. It’s impossible. Ava gives her a little grin. That’s enough for Lilith. 

—

Dinner is had, their conversations aren’t as intense as they think they will be, lighthearted to remind themselves that they are safe and alive, maybe not in the best shape but it’s what they have to deal with. (“You know, if we weren’t considered runaways and attacked by a fucking demon, this would be so nice and chill. Like a vacation. Just the five of us.” Ava states after their dinner.)

Beatrice takes Ava to their room, searching the room’s wardrobe and drawers for other, looser clothing. Akin to a miracle, she finds some assortment of plain t shirts and joggers. Beatrice hands one of each to Ava and drags her to the bathroom.  _ Thank god for everything the house has provided so far _ . 

Ava is relieved from that. She finishes up, heading to the bedroom, throwing a grin to Beatrice, spinning to show off her outfit. It’s nothing more than a dark gray shirt and black joggers, Beatrice smiles as Ava and then she goes shower. 

The shower does prove relaxing, washing away all the dirt and grime from her body. Beatrice feels out of place without her normal habit but it’s not horrible. 

Ava pats down on the bed as Beatrice enters the room, moving to provide space. Beatrice drops her clothes on the dresser and sits facing Ava. 

“What do you think is going to happen?” Ava asks, shifting into the pillows behind her. 

“I don’t know. A lot could happen, and a lot has happened.” Beatrice sighs. 

Meanwhile, Camila helps Mary and Lilith as they clean up the kitchen, helping with anything. Eventually she leaves after hearing the shower shut off for the second time, parting with Lilith and Mary to take care of herself. 

“Doing good?” 

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” Lilith groans. 

“Well I don't know about the rest, but I’m asking because you’re shut off. Do I have to remind you that everyone knows what happened to you?” Mary crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Not at all,” Lilith huffs. 

“Okay then. Let’s go outside?” Mary asks as she heads to the door, waiting for Lilith. Lilith gives her a frown but goes out with her.

Lilith and Mary sit by the table, Lilith curling into herself, “I know you’re concerned but truly, I'm fine. It’s- the hair is surprising. And this.” She sticks out her hand and boom! The sharp claws appear before then disappearing. 

“Shit!” Mary reacts rather fast. 

“You came in and saved me from Adriel,” Despite a frantic and horrific situation, that gesture really did help her. 

“Yeah I don’t know what could’ve happened to you.”  _ Losing you again would be too much to bear, _ goes unsaid. 

“I can’t lose you.” Mary chooses that instead. 

Lilith is reminded of the fight, how her anger could’ve saved them from chaos but their actions are made already. There’s no turning back from that. She was right, Ava shouldn’t have entered the tomb, the being inside her said so and all Lilith could do was listen. 

Mary really could not bear to lose her again. She thinks two hard losses are enough for someone to go through. And also, the truly last thing she wants is more heartbreak. No matter that maybe her and Lilith are on unsteady grounds but it’s still bad seeing someone you trust turn into a different person and die right in front of you. All Mary asks for now is peace and security, for herself and for everyone. 

“Thank you,” Lilith says quietly. She watches the sky turn into a pinkish purple as the sun dips behind the vast mountains. She could stay here watching the sunsets. 

“I have you,” Mary repeats last night's message. 

“I know,” Lilith affirms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sobs*


	4. chapter four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a lot of ava here because why not?
> 
> also plot thingies but i had to include it :P

After last night's short lived conversation, Lilith goes to bed thinking about her new self and Mary. After they all settle down (it’s not comforting being anxious about their current situation), they bid their good night’s. 

Lilith is restless, catching a few hours of sleep before the sharp ringing would catch her off guard, whining from the suddenness. Clearly the being hasn’t settled down yet. Not that that’s what she wants but it’s more annoying now. Lilith ends up walking around the property in the early morning light, accompanied with the thoughts of everything and nothing, then going outside for air. 

Would her parents care that she’s dead or just the fact that she died before adorning the halo for their precious legacy? Just the thought of that is saddening. Lilith wanted to think that they’d care somewhat, and think less of the fact that she isn’t the proud halo bearer they so badly wanted her to be. Lilith stops pacing, going to sit on the chair outside. 

Camila wakes early— accustomed to the daily routine of the OCS —heading out to take care of herself and wandering through the house. She sees Lilith on the outdoor patio set and decides to head to her, striking out getting some word from Lilith. 

“Lilith?”

She perks up at the mention of her name, scrunching her eyebrows at Camila. Camila looks younger without the habit, instead wearing the clothes she found in her room’s drawers.  _ Different _ . 

“Nice morning right?” Camila focuses on the now, then will work up to the big question.  _ The scar _ . 

“Yes.” Lilith bites out. 

“Sleep good? I know this isn’t a desirable situation but I hope that you-” Camila is interrupted. 

“I didn’t.” Lilith responds shortly. 

Camila takes it with worry, biting her lips, “Oh. Is there anything-”

Lilith stops her again, getting up, “No. Unless you know of a way to remove the devil from me.” Lilith finds it amusing but Camila doesn’t, who frowns instead. It’s also technically not the devil but close enough to that being anyway, with how it tormented her. 

Lilith walks into the house, leaving Camila outside alone. She does head to the nearest bathroom, but looking at the mirror freaks her out every time. Lilith didn’t even bother washing up all that much, there’s still remnants of blood in her hair and skin, almost like a dye at this point. A quick shower couldn’t hurt. 

—

Somehow it’s easier when everyone is up and active. Camila takes over for Mary, insisting that she sit. 

Mary took time to absorb literally everything that has happened so far and think it over. She is never going to get over the death of Shannon, unjust and devastating. Mary thinks of how Shannon told her to trust no one, knowing now that she likely meant Vincent. Once she finds him, he’s dying no matter what. No matter how. Her blood is on his hands and he has to pay. 

Mary speaks up, catching everyone’s attention, “Shannon was right about Vincent. I shouldn’t have trusted him.” 

“What do you mean?” Beatrice says with hesitation. 

Mary looks to Beatrice, “Shannon knew that someone was untrustworthy. She said so in the journals. She knew something was up. Do you think Shannon knew that Vincent would do something like that? Use Adriel for gain to kill Shannon?”

Ava perks up, the mention of Shannon makes her think of when she ‘met’ Shannon in her dream. Ava thought she looked mournful, sad. 

“I blindly trusted him for so long, trying to get payback for Shannon, but it was him. He killed Shannon. He killed Shannon,” Mary voices. 

The other four look away in sorrow almost. What could be said? Really? 

“If that’s what you want to do, do it. We’re not stopping you, or at least I won’t. I’m sure Shannon would appreciate that.” Ava meekly says, showing Mary some support. Mary nods, frowning. 

The breakfast is silent, save for the clinking of the forks against the plates and their breathing. Afterwards, they head outside as a sort of relaxer, despite the circumstances. They find themselves in meaningless conversations but it’s a nice distraction. The battle can be discussed later, when they want to. 

Ava stands up, heading to the grassy yard from the table, smiling. The four stare at her, if not a bit confused. 

“Lilith, I want to train like you.” 

Lilith scoffs, looking at the rest, hoping it’s not a weird dream. It’s definitely not because she sees Mary’s amused expression. “Like me? Where did this come from?”

“Because you trained so hard for my position and I know literally nothing. I want to try,” Ava chuckles, gesturing to herself. 

Lilith hesitantly gets up, glancing at the rest once more, and sees them smile. “Sure. We could try.” She throws her hair up into a ponytail beforehand. 

Once Lilith is closer to Ava, she speaks, grabbing her arm, “You’re not going to run away this time, right?”

Ava huffs, “I can’t and besides, I wouldn’t be suggesting this if I didn’t want it,  _ Sister _ .” 

“Alright.” says Lilith, smirking. 

That fuels Lilith’s cockiness, returning to her confidence for training (not exactly at 100% but enough to really smack down Ava), and tells Ava to follow her positions and moves. At least here there is no one to really chide at Lilith for beating up Ava, but it seems as though Ava enjoys it too.  _ From a learning standpoint _ though. 

The others fill in and give little tips and tricks for Ava, and it’s mainly Mary who gives the most advice. Lilith just looks at her every time. Seems like she wants Ava to beat Lilith. 

“Don’t look at me like that Lily.  _ You’re _ the one who taught  _ me _ your skills. That’s on you.” Mary states. Lilith sternly looks at her, but nothing comes out of that. 

Lilith focuses on the present, letting Ava get used to her unpredictability. She vaguely wonders if using her newfound abilities would be an advantage. Ava learns quickly, picking up new moves with little to no hassle. Lilith’s impressed. 

“You did well. I’m surprised you lasted this long.” Lilith says as Ava gets up from the grass, brushing off the dirt. Lilith barely broke a sweat while Ava struggled a bit. 

“Yeah, well, you have so many fucking skills,” Ava pauses for a breather, “All I can do is try, right?” Ava looks at her. 

“That’s right. You learn quickly. It’s good,” Lilith walks away, to the others. 

“You let Lilith kick your ass.” Mary tells Ava when they both come back to the table. 

Ava just laughs, “Lilith isn’t so bad when she isn’t actively trying to kill me.”

Lilith scoffed, shaking her head. 

Ava takes her seat next to Beatrice, smiling at her before gasping, slamming her hands on the table. Not good. 

“I totally forgot to ask. How are you guys? I know that I am not like you in healing terms but seriously. I’m supposed to be your leader and I totally forgot about that.” Ava sounds genuinely concerned and worried about her team. They smile and sigh in relief as she explains. 

“I’m okay,” Camila says. 

“I mean we’re here and alive right?” Mary answers. 

“Yes but get into it. I know you probably feel the worst.” Ava expressed. “You ran into that crowd. A possessed crowd! Are you okay is all I’m asking.” Ava voiced concern. 

“I’ve seen worse- experienced worse. It’s really not that bad.” Mary affirmed Ava with a slight grin. 

Lilith speaks before Ava, “But still Mary, you acted recklessly. You didn’t wait for Ava’s order, or anyone’s order of any kind. You ran.  _ You risked your life for us. _ ” 

She’d been listening idly, feeling better from that small training, taking it in. Ava was right. Perhaps Lilith’s persistence for being a great halo bearer is beneficial and proving for her, taking charge for her team, checking on them following the fight. 

“Don’t act like you wouldn’t have done the same thing.” Mary responds, looking at Lilith. Mary knows that she is right, her impulsive action could have ended in tragedy but it didn’t. She’s still standing. 

“You  _ know _ I would never do that. There’s protocols to this, to everything, but it seems like you can’t follow that,” Lilith sneers. 

The three watch, tensions growing. Ava and Beatrice are afraid another fight would break out between the pair, praying they don’t go that far. The verbal altercations leave less wounds. 

“You suddenly care?” Mary replies, confused. 

Lilith opens her mouth to speak but stops, inhaling sharply. To spare the rest of their consequences, she leaves them. They watch her enter the house, slamming the door loudly. 

“She was just worried, don’t blame her.” Ava says, looking away from the door to Mary. 

Mary stays quiet. 

“Lilith wouldn’t have brought it up if it didn’t worry her, Mary. You know her as well as I do,” Beatrice says, stressing on the fact that Lilith would rarely mention anything that left her anxious. 

Mary just huffs, crossing her arms, looking away from the others. 

Lilith just runs into the house, to her unassigned assigned room, understandably upset. 

Of course she’d say that. What more could she think about? Mary was her  _ friend _ . A close one, to add to that. Why couldn’t Mary understand that Lilith is worried— scratch that, upset —about her actions? She knew how detached Mary was from the OCS but still. To just run into the crowd like it was no one’s business and  _ thankfully _ come out safe was frustrating. Why didn’t she know that she cared?! The few people in her life were extremely valuable to her. No one can replace Mary. No one could be her.

Lilith did care but struggled to show it, saving it for rare occurrences. Like when she sought out Adriel on her own, or when she accidentally laid down her life for Mary and Ava. Too bad her care was solely fixated on the halo, which is why Mary hated her attitude towards the OCS, but now her focus is on something else entirely. 

The being and Mary.

—

They don’t bring it up ( _ shocker… _ ), but later, they have another dinner, seeming to stick to a mealtime routine with everyone. Ava talks the whole time, hoping to distract the rest, getting small answers from Beatrice and Camila only, and some chuckles from Mary, but no word from Lilith, who would be dying to say something snarky to Ava. 

The next few days are not as eventful, I mean what could they do miles from their home and hours from a big city? Nothing much. Ava continues asking the others for little things like help with skills or independently working on her powers, which seem to come back weakly but she’s happy that the halo isn’t dead or rejecting her. 

Ava though, is reminded of Shannon. Her past dream/vision wasn’t that helpful but Shannon’s insight on how it was a burden to carry left her wondering. She knew she’d become the last bearer but couldn’t help but think of her words. 

Ava finds Mary outside after breakfast. 

“Hi.”

Mary hums. 

“I think now would be a good time to say this,” Ava laughs. 

“But when we were at Arq-Tech, I was taking a nap and I had this dream. I wouldn’t consider it a dream but it was similar. I saw Shannon there.” 

Mary glanced over at Ava. “Why are you telling me this?”

“I just thought you might like to know, that I saw her. She looked beautiful. But sad. Shannon said the halo is like a burden but that with her family, she felt better about it.” Ava sadly smiles. 

Mary lets out a wet chuckle, shaking her head, “Typical Shannon. Always the protector.”

After a moment, Mary talks, “She knew something was up but never really talked about it. Just vague things about protection, I thought it had to do with being the halo bearer but I’m starting to think it was about Vincent. Fucking asshole.” 

“I know, or kinda know how you feel. When I was in the tomb, Adriel did this thing where he quickly changed into Vincent, getting into my head to scare me. And! And he tried to remove the halo from me! He put his hand in me and tried grabbing it!” Ava grows frantic at the memory of that, mimicking his moves. 

“Jesus. And you just thought now would be a good time to say this?” Mary exclaims. 

“Well when would be a good time to say that a demon tried killing me? Right then and there?” Ava loudly said. 

“I don’t know but it’s not something you can brush off. You also let your team know of any danger you’ve experienced. It’s not just a one way thing.” Mary reminds her, thinking about

“I know that now!” She replies. 

Ava gets more out of Mary about Shannon, who she was and how she was, bringing up funny little stories about her, how she would train. Mary brought up the actual day of how Shannon became the sacred halo bearer for the OCS, explaining the process, considering Ava’s go wasn’t exactly ceremonial. Ava laughs at that jab. Ava listens as Mary goes on in fondness about her late girlfriend. 

“I loved her so much.” Mary choked out. She feels so much from that, really coming to process what had happened with her. Love yet death. Life is meant for loving but loss is so devastating. Mary wants to think positively but that’s hard when her girlfriend is gone, no shining light in her skies. 

“She loves you too.” Ava tells Mary. Ava knows that she does, a fragment of Shannon in the halo reminded her. Maybe soon, other dreams or visions could come and aid her. 

—

Mary and Lilith are on market duty for today, not trusting Ava and leaving her with Beatrice and Camila. (“This isn’t fair. I want to go out.” “You know Italian?” “No but-” “Then you’re staying.” Mary doesn’t exactly laugh but a noise does come out of her. Ava stays begrudgingly.)

“I wouldn’t be able to handle her outside of training. Obnoxious.” Lilith shakes her head, trying to joke with Mary as they trek the dirt road towards the market. Lilith remembers how trying to teach Ava ended in annoyance and some self enjoyment, she found it be a power thing, like anything. 

“Yeah I have a feeling you’ll try  _ fighting _ her too.” Mary responds. 

“She enjoys it, so there’s not much to say there, if that’s what you’re asking,” Lilith throws a look at Mary, in faux annoyance, though a weird feeling sets in her gut. There’s no danger (at least not surrounding them at this very moment), it’s just them, and different from previous times she had to speak with Mary about whatever. What is this?

Mary sighed, “Just don’t go too far and don’t doubt her. We can’t all be like you.”

Lilith hums. Though now she hasn’t spoken of the halo in the while they’ve been there, she can’t help but sometimes think selfishly of it. Lilith has power, both by influence and abilities, and falling short was almost embarrassing. She feels envious of the halo that exists in Ava, but greed and jealousy won’t make her the halo bearer. There’s a part of her that thinks maybe she’s still so heartless like Mary suggested. That hurt. 

They walk into the market, greeted by few people, now getting fewer stares because of their clothing (loose and unlike their uniform), greeted especially by the woman who first met and served them. She is nice and gives the two more food, plus extras that aren’t totally necessary but appreciated, in respects. Mary and Lilith thank her immensely. They leave with more than they bargained for, content with it. 

Walking back to the house is easy, better actually. The slight overcast weather provides less heat, suitable for the hot summer. Lilith looks at Mary, then back at the road. 

Mary speaks, “You’ve been real quiet about your ‘hard earned’ legacy. I’m surprised you’ve finally shut up about it.” 

Lilith frowned, “And you want me to talk about it again? I recall that you hated it.”

“Nope, but you do see how it’s good for you right?” Mary said. 

“Good? How do you know what’s good or not for me?” Lilith is confused but slightly agitated. 

“There are bigger issues to worry about. Life’s not all family problems and expectations.” Of course. 

“I didn’t have family problems.” Lilith states. 

“Whatever you want to tell yourself,” Mary sighs. 

Lilith breathes out heavily, deciding not to pick this battle. This one would likely end up like the rest. Uneventful and tense. And besides, who is Mary one to speak on Lilith’s personal history? It didn’t involve her so why was she always the one to bring it up?  _ Oh right _ . Lilith is so transfixed on the idea of being able to become the next and best halo bearer. Anything else didn’t matter so long as she had sight of her goals. 

And yet here, Lilith is sort of let go of those responsibilities and goals. There’s no family or expectations. Just five people trying to lay low and survive. Instead of thinking constantly of the halo, she now thinks of the being and how it has completely changed her. 

—

The two make it back shortly after that, arranging everything for the next meal. Ava throws around silly jokes, lightening up the mood, remembering her conversation with Mary, deciding to bring it up during their dinner. 

“I know I didn’t mention this before- it sorta flew over my head- but down in the tomb, Adriel got into my head and he was saying all these things about Areala.” Ava starts off, getting confused looks from the rest.

“He lied. He didn’t give up the halo, he stole it from the tarasks. And when he didn’t want to get caught, he forced it into her so that the tarasks couldn’t find it as easily.” Ava says midway through the dinner, remembering all the large details that stood out to her. She looks at her plate and continues eating with ease. 

All four look at her, astonished by her account of Adriel. The clatter of silverware makes Ava look up. 

“What? I’m telling the truth.” Ava says, exasperated. She notes their surprised expressions. 

“How do you know he stole it?” Beatrice speaks first, still trying to wrap her head around Ava’s words. 

“Well in the memory, he came out of this portal and a tarask followed him and tried to kill him.” Ava responded, clearly more at ease with the story than the rest. “And then forced it into Areala so that the tarasks could stop following him.”

Ava stops, getting the memo that they are shocked. 

“So the ancient texts were lying all this time?” Camila questions, in disbelief. 

“...Yes?” Ava doesn’t want to answer that question. 

Camila sighed in response, worried. 

Mary raised her eyebrows in shock, only hearing the first bit from Ava hours prior but this is all completely new news to her. 

It makes Lilith think though. Was the tarask inside her the reason how she had the ability to locate Ava  _ twice _ since ‘dying’? That the halo actually first existed in their realm as opposed to the telling of the tarasks attempting to steal it for themselves? That’s how she knew Ava couldn’t go into the tomb, the tarask told her so and maybe they were right. All the tombs did was cause chaos and disaster. 

Ava gives them a breather, for their sake and well-being. It was a shock to her too but to really piece it all together was crazy. 

“That makes the OCS a lie then. Because we’re taught that Adriel sacrificed the halo for Areala and now this is a complete turn on the story.” Lilith talks, mentally adding everything up. “The whole narrative has flipped then if he was the one to place the halo in her.”

“Shit,” It’s Ava’s turn to drop her silverware against the plate, replying nervously.  _ Not exciting _ . 

No one else talks, absorbing it all in for more questioning. Ava answers to the best of her abilities with the limited exposure to Adriel. To say that she felt fear was an understatement. He was the monster. 

“That still doesn’t answer the question as to why Vincent would work with Adriel.” Mary asks, frowning. “What would they gain from that?”

“I don’t know Mary. Maybe for power? And if Shannon died, he would get power from Adriel? I mean I don’t know why he would do that.” Ava explains, hesitant on the topic of Shannon. Their appetite is ruined for now, queasy from the information 

Ava looks to Beatrice for some sense of clarity but even she has no idea of the situation. 

“That is… a lot to process,” Beatrice meekly says as she first looks at Ava then to the rest. “So you think that Vincent would use the halo bearer for power? But wouldn’t he have already done that before if he had a halo bearer close to him?”

“I don’t know Beatrice, all I know is that Adriel tried to reach into me to steal the halo for himself, so that he could go back. There’s a lot of things that I don’t know the answer to. ” Ava said. 

“We’ll leave it at this for now.” Beatrice furrowed her eyebrows together, thinking of how the OCS would  _ crumble _ if word was spread to them. 

For Beatrice to remain uncertain was a huge shock. Not even texts could help them here. They are on uncharted territory and on their own. And they still had to find their way back to Spain. 

—

Again, the next days prove boring but alas they are fugitives in the eyes of the Church. Not like they meant to do it. 

Ava ventured around the house, since they still didn’t want her to go out, for ‘ _ fear of attention _ ’ or whatever Lilith meant. Ava instead phases through the walls, careful not to accidentally walk into someplace private. (God knows she would physically die if that happened) Ava walks through the door, finding an office space and a library of sorts, along with some dated technology. But a phone is a phone nonetheless!

“I found something!” Ava yells out from the hallway, rushing out of it to meet the group. 

She hears the rush of footsteps following her to the discrete room, located near the far end of the hallway. 

“Look!” Ava proudly says after phasing into the room, unlocking the door and letting them in. 

“I thought we looked through the whole house?” Mary asks, to no one in general, but looks at Ava in front of the desk. 

“I guess not,” Ava grins. 

Beatrice walks into the room, taking in the sparse bookshelves and large desk near one side of the office, along with a couch that sits adjacent to the desk. It’s an overall large room, adorned with few artworks on the walls, dusty. Beatrice mentally thanks the OCS and the village immensely. 

“But wait!” Ava walked around the desk and pulled out the wire telephone from its hiding spot, demonstrating it to the four others. A smile breaks through all their faces and Ava takes it as a success. They have contact with the OCS now!

Ava moves from behind the desk, allowing space for Beatrice to investigate it. 

“You didn’t touch it right?” Lilith asks. 

“Of course not! I don’t know how it works. Why would I touch it?” Ava responds, quickly. 

“How would you-” Lilith starts. 

Ava beats her to the punch, “ _Oh_ _right…_ See, I couldn’t move for 12 years so knowing how to do ‘basic things’ is still new to me.” 

Lilith keeps quiet, apprehensive. All she knew was of Ava’s death, not of any previous conditions that Ava lived through. No wonder she was uncoordinated in every aspect. 

Beatrice tries a random number— not yet wanting to expose themselves to the OCS if something wrong happens during the call —to see if the phone actually worked. A stranger picks up, speaking Spanish, breathing out in relief because neither the phone nor the line had died. 

She lets them know that it works, feeling slightly at ease with this knowledge, having small hope for the future. If they could have contact with the OCS— the real one, and not the one bombarded by rejects —they could head back when time is right. They still have to face Adriel and Vincent. 

But with this, they have hope for the future. At least enough to not feel complete despair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay!

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! 
> 
> kudos + comments are appreciated!! <3


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